Oh, My Friends!
I've just climbed out of a ditch. I fell in with a few unkind words from different sources. These words spoken with the energy of shadow patriarchal conditioning latched onto my inner-child's heart and yanked her out of presence and play. This young part of me got so hooked!
Suffering comes from believing erroneous stories a.k.a. lies. And then we have emotional reactions to these.
The biggest lie, is that all this is real.
Let me explain:
In this ditch, I was spinning and lost. My thoughts were back and forth in confusion. I wasn't sure where I could go to feel safe. I started blaming my husband for my discomforts. My fear vibration hooked him and he went down deeper than me! Money and survival fears were the main hook. But as I contracted more and more, memories of past friends who betrayed me surfaced. Then my mind locked onto the helpless feeling of not understanding why people treat others so horribly... And on and on... Eventually, I made it to my root wound, "Why doesn't my father love me?" Ohhhh, this is the biggie! "What did I do to be hated by him, for he would not lie to me and betray me if he really loved me..." The suffering in this density cluster of pain is so deep, the confusion took over.
What popped me out of the density? This eddy of spiraling illusion - the "trauma vortex" as Peter Levine calls it. (Author of Waking the Tiger - amazing book on healing trauma).
It seemed no matter what I did to remember the truth, it wasn't working. At least not completely. I knew that I was tapping into a collective suffering. I knew that I was opening myself up to be bombarded by negative energies and entities. I knew it was coming from my own choices and beliefs. I tried to change my stories in the moment: "I am love. I am safe. I choose safety"...
But what actually popped me out of the looping was unplanned and untried...
I wiped a tiny piece of sand off my leg. It was coral sand. It was in the shape of a heart. I caught it on my finger tip. I heard my friend Diane's voice, who passed away years ago of cancer, saying, "It's not about you. Don't take everything so seriously."
And that was it!
I was free.
And in the liberation I could perceive the "trap" I'd been caught in. Sticky illusionary lies telling me I was unsafe and not good enough...
It reminded me of another time in my past when I'd gotten hooked into such a deep suffering, and a voice came into my head and said, "You're suffering because you think it's about you."
The friends who I felt betrayed by, weren't directing their blame at me personally; they were acting out a role within the drama of "attachment". They were hooked. They were pushing at projections in their own minds. I joined them in the game and became the target, choosing to be projected upon.
Those who harm others are also suffering themselves. They likely aren't doing it consciously and if they are, it is often from a place of self-righteousness - they truly believe they're right and have the right to act that way.
But it's all a play on a stage with actors wearing Perpetrator, Victim, and Savior costumes.
When I looked at that tiny piece of white coral sand in the shape of a heart, I popped out of the illusion and off the stage.
When we're not on stage, we can see things for what they are.
None of us are the roles we play on that stage.
We are much much MUCH more that these games.
I know we are moving through intense times in our planet's history/herstory. The "power-over" paradigm enforcers don't want us to remember our true natures. If we wake up, pop open, remember "it's not about me!", then they have no leverage to manipulate us. If we're on that trauma/drama stage, then we're susceptible to being pawns in their game. But the game is just that, a game. The game masters are not omnipotent. And we are all waking up now!
When we wake up, we can support our communities in waking up. The game goes on, but it goes on as a bubble of illusion within the Great Divine Unified Field - Where Universal Laws create harmonics of ecstatic beauty - Where Joy, Love and Gratitude are the waters which everything swims in.
We pop off the game board into clarity of this Great Unified Field of infinite possibilities. That's why the illusions can exist! Even they are within the Unified Field. We have free will choice. We get to choose what reality we experience daily.
If you are suffering, confused, or feeling despair, remember:
YOU'RE SUFFERING BECAUSE YOU THINK ITS ABOUT YOU.
LAUGH AT YOURSELF, TAKE IT ALL LIGHTLY,
AND MOVE ON -
BECAUSE THERE IS NO YOU.
YOU ARE BEYOND DEFINITIONS.
YOU ARE THE WE.
AND WE ARE THE EVERYTHING.
SO, DIVINE DREAMER OF REALITY - WHAT WILL YOU DREAM TODAY?
HOW WILL YOU PIERCE THROUGH THE ILLUSION-REALITY BUBBLE WITH YOUR LOVE
AND CREATE BRIDGES TO BLISS FOR HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS?
With Deep Appreciation,
Maria Owl Gutierrez